Like a blue-rosetted Grand old Duke of York, he’ll whip and cajole them to the top of the hill before marching them down again – or, more often than not, leaving them stranded there. Perhaps a crack at The Telegraph crossword, a cheeky slurp of restorative Prosecco, or just a well-deserved lie-in.Įither way, by lunchtime she’d been reinstated – the fastest reverse-ferret since Saki’s Sredni Vashtar liberated Conradin from his maiden aunt.īoris Johnson has a curious way of mobilising his troops.

We may never know what Angela Richardson – sacked as a PPS for abstaining on the vote – did with her morning off. The Whips’ Office were gorging on humble pie. This was a day of low cunning and high farce as the Tories beat their humiliating retreat from the Leadsom amendment. Opening their bedside drawer, they would have found it half full of vomit.

“I am aware that last night’s vote has created a certain amount of controversy,” drawled Jacob Rees-Mogg in the Commons, displaying a unique gift for stating the bleedin’ obvious.Īs dawn broke over Westminster, the Government woke up with the hangover from hell after a vindictive gnome with a small but heavy hammer had spent the night chiselling away somewhere painful behind their eye-sockets.

Beats from youtube